Jesus: the white, neatly barbered edition

While I was out the Jehovah's Witnesses came by. Awww, I was so sad to miss them... mostly because I like seeing the dogs charge the door and terrify anyone who rings the doorbell. (The dogs are actually very friendly, but when people see two seventy-pound dogs throwing themselves against the door and barking loudly, they tend to get a little worried. Can't imagine why.) Anyway, in case I had never heard of this dude Jesus, they kindly left a little flyer folded up in my door:

Nathan Fillion died for my sins? Are they sure about this? Because I'm pretty sure Nathan's still around. I see him on "Castle" every week. But maybe it's actually Ewan McGregor instead? Though I thought he was still with us, too...

Seriously, if I were writing this flyer, I would have written:
WHO IS THIS MAN?
WHY IS HE SO CAUCASIAN?
HOW DID HE GET HIS HAIR AND BEARD SO NICELY TRIMMED? SUPERCUTS OR HAIR CUTTERY?

I've seen plenty of white Jesuses, but this is one of the worst. Even dying on the cross, his hair isn't even mussed, just nicely tousled. Aaarrghhhh.