A list of words and phrases co-opted by ultraconservatives that have happened to jump out at me lately. Snark warning. To paraphrase Inigo Montoya, you keep using these words. I do not think they mean what you think they mean:
Marriage. Real marriage only involves one man and one woman. Gay "marriage" (notice the quotes) is, of course, not real marriage. The idea of gay "marriage" undercuts the true, God-given meaning of marriage and will eventually destroy our society and probably lead to the fiery destruction of the whole world as well.
Family. Two parents and as many children as God chooses to give them. Gay parents with children are very decidedly excluded from this definition. Any group with "family" in the title is properly outraged at depictions of sex in the media (though sexual content in the Bible is of course perfectly okay). It's not enough to shield your own children-- other people's kids need to be shielded as well, whether those kids' parents agree or not. (If those parents are okay with sexual content in books and on television, they're probably secular humanists, and their kids really need help anyway.)
Freedom of speech. The freedom (for conservatives) to say what one wants, without any limitations, and without pushback or argument from those who disagree. For example, Christians have the freedom (and indeed the obligation) to say gay sex is icky. No one else has the right to argue with them.
Religious freedom. The right to push one's religion on others, no matter the event or holiday. Since this is a Christian nation, this only applies to Christians (and of course only Bible-believing Christians count-- liberal Christians, Mormons, and other weirdos are not entitled to an opinion). Also, the right to freely discriminate against gays, interracial couples, or anyone who uses birth control. Again, no discussion or debate can be permitted, because any sort of argument unjustly undercuts this right. If I run a restaurant, for example, I have the unfettered freedom to deny service to gays because they're sinners, but no one has the right to boycott my restaurant to protest my actions. Summed up in the popular expression, "Religious freedom does not mean freedom from religion," which means "I have the right to tell you about my religion, but you don't have the right to tell me about yours."
A life of rebellion. In which women go back to living as they did in the nineteenth century, eschew feminism, and accept that their best destiny is to stay home with the kids. Rebel, ladies, and do another load of laundry.
The homosexual agenda. Any acknowledgement that gay people exist. Articles that mention gay people, depictions of homosexuality in the media, and commercials that show happy, smiling gay people who don't appear to be going directly to Hell are all examples of this, and symptoms of the terrible decay of our society.
The liberal agenda. Similar to the above, except an acknowledgment that other yucky things exist as well-- for example, a Cheerios commercial depicting a happy interracial family. Also a symptom of cultural decay. Things were so much better in the fifties!
Purity. Accepting that once you have sex before marriage, you're like a filthy glass of water someone's spat into. Sex is dirty and bad and stomach-turning till your wedding night-- then you're going to love it. If you don't, tough.
Historical revisionism. The erroneous assertion that American history didn't revolve exclusively around Christians and Christianity, and that our Constitution is not based directly on the Ten Commandments. Also, an emphasis in historical studies on people of non-European descent-- people whom everyone knows had no real effect on our history whatsoever. And finally, also the deliberate attempt by liberals to recast Christian founding fathers as deists and Enlightenment thinkers, rather than Biblical literalists.
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