Saturday, July 13, 2013

Am I really an atheist Lutheran?

When I started this blog, I was still wavering about my feelings on religion. I knew I was an atheist and no longer believed in God, but I wasn't ready to disclose this to my parents-in-law and family. I was not generally attending church due to protracted illness, but if I did happen to go I was still taking communion-- not because I believed, but because not taking communion when you've always taken it is like wearing a big blinking neon sign.

Things have changed. I'm no longer ill thanks to some awesome medication (Crohn's disease can't be cured, but Remicade certainly seems like a cure so far), and so there are no excuses to be made. But no one else in the family is going to church either, which gave me confidence. (Which is worse-- becoming an atheist, or not going to church when you still believe?) I had a nice discussion with my father-in-law a while back and told him outright I didn't believe in God. We had a quiet and serious discussion, and he told me that he still believed in God, but that he was angry with him. So he was in no state of mind to be judgmental.

That being said, I still teach my kids to politely bow their heads when prayers are said at family dinners, but I notice that no one's saying them anymore. I don't know if that's out of courtesy to us, or because the rest of the family's faith is slipping, too. I discuss why I don't believe with my kids, but try not to brainwash them (though I admit I will be very, very unhappy if any of them ever become evangelical Christians). I'm no longer really an atheist Lutheran, just an atheist who used to be a Lutheran.

No comments:

Post a Comment